Infidelity and affairs happen more frequently than we like to think about..
The good
thing is most women and men who LatinFeels.com
Reviews find their husband or wife cheating want to fight for it and
give the marriage a second shot.
Similarly
cheating wives and husbands who see what they have risked and may lose, often
want to make amends' than stay with their new love interest.
In both
cases the act of research or seeking support and willingness to try the
solutions is a strong sign that the marriage can survive infidelity.
Many argue
over what infidelity and cheating is.
According
to the English Online Dictionary...
Infidelity is the action or state
of being unfaithful LatinFeels to a
spouse..
Infidelity therefore can take many
forms...
virtual, emotional, physical and
financial.
No matter what type of infidelity
has taken place, it is deeply traumatic for the betrayed spouse and the
marriage. The betrayer can also suffer regret, depression and shame...
So clearly actions NOT words need
to be taken to save the marriage and recover after the affair do need to take
place.
But in answer to the question is
YES! marriages can and do survive infidelity time and time again and in fact
many I help actually LatinFeels.com come out
stronger and happier as a result.
Dave and Cindy (names changed to
protect identity) before the affair were living separate lives under one roof,
they just weren't engaged in each other's lives, they stopped having sex years
before and their only communication was on children and bills. Now they are
affectionate towards one another, interested in each other's day and love
spending time together.
The key thing that helped them was
the fact that we did not repeat what happened in the marriage before the affair
and list all the negative points they had about each other since they got
married, NO, they instead focused on creating a new relationship and way of
relating from scratch.
That is key to after you catch a
cheating husband or wife, not to go back to how things were, but to ask
empowering questions to move you forward. Happiness in life is about closing
the GAP.
Taking where you are now to where
you want to be: what you want the relationship and future to look like. Created
a shared meaning for the future after the affair is also important. Having a
shared vision holds couples together through difficult times.
Cindy and Dave are now the happiest
they have ever been, they laugh, talk and touch all the time...
If you're stuck not knowing if you
can save your marriage after the affair... here are a few more questions to
know and assess whether your marriage can be saved.
1. Does the betrayer realize the
pain they have caused and want to make amends?
2. Have they made a heartfelt
apology and taken actions to rebuild trust?
3. Are the couple working towards a
common goal of repairing the marriage and creating a compelling future
together?
4. If there is an addiction, other
behavioral issues or depression that is being dealt with?
5. Do the couple have the required
patience to deal with cheating and infidelity triggers?
6. Are they focusing on creating a
new relationship rather than focusing on the past?
7. Are they willing to invest
energy and time into saving the marriage?
8. Are they making each other and
the marriage a priority?
If you can answer yes to all or
most of these questions, there is a great chance the marriage can survive
infidelity, if no, look at the areas that need to be worked at.
There is no doubt that the most
important thing in a marriage, as in any other relationship, is honesty and
real understanding. This can be rebuilt but not over night, trust is not like a
light you can switch on or off, it is more like one of those dimmer round
switches that over time with the right actions from the outset can be increased
and eventually restored.
Marriage Counseling After the
Affair
You need to be careful when
selecting a good marriage counselor after the affair, as some marriage
counseling centers or counselors, believe that an affair has already damaged
the marriage beyond repair.
You need to select a marriage
counselor that has a program to help you move forward and not marriage
counseling that has no plan, focuses on the past and lacks structure. Turning
up for aimless painful negative talking about where the marriage failed... will
not help.
Plus it is important that the
marriage counselor is open to working with you individually and as a couple, a
mixture of both works best when it comes to marriage counseling for after the
affair recovery.
What to focus on?
I know the 3 A's work
Attention - making each other a
priority
Affection - care and loving touch
can go along way
Appreciation - appreciating what
the other has
Hope this is helpful to you, just
remember an affair it doesn't mean the marriage is over. It's only over, if you
are no longer willing to put effort into it
Nicola Beer - Marriage
Transformation Specialist and Founder of Save My Marriage Program
I specializes in a proven 10 step
program to help couples increase the love, passion and happiness in their
marriage in 30 days or less... Guaranteed!
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