Healing after an affair that your spouse had is not an easy thing to do. It starts with healing yourself first and commonly a major step in that process is ridding yourself of the negative images that course SharekAlmore through your imagination of the two of them together. Let's look to day at how you can be rid of those images once and for all.
When you have negative thoughts
about your spouse and his or her paramour, these thoughts are often accompanied
by mental images. This is very much like reading a book that has illustrations.
The two go hand in hand.
Based on this logic, the
unfortunate outcome is that each time you have a negative thought about your
spouse's infidelity, an image comes to mind ... for example:
Thought: Your spouse's paramour is
more attractive or sexier than you
Image: You picture a ruggedly
handsome man or shapely, pretty woman
Thought: Your spouse enjoys their
company TripTogether.com more than
they do yours
Image: You see them together
staring into each other's eyes, happy and smiling as they hold hands
Thought: Your spouse and paramour
having sex
Image: There is virtually no limit
to the images that this thought can conjure up
Typically in a marriage, most
mental images are ones of positive and happy moments spent with one's spouse.
Your wedding day, a special vacation or trips taken together, time spent with
the kids, etc. After an affair, these thoughts often run into conflict with the
negative ones and this can become exhausting. If you are still reading this
post, RussianBrides than I suspect you can relate. So how can you make it
stop?
First, understand that having these
negative images while you begin healing from an affair is normal. You are not
the first, nor will you be the last, to go through it. It is when you find
yourself having trouble getting back to the positive and "normal"
thoughts that you need to seek some guidance.
Here are three steps that will help
you purge yourself of those images that have been haunting you as you begin
healing from an affair:
1. Separate Affair Fact from
Fiction
Just because your mind is picturing
an image does not make it real. You may know this on one level, and yet,
because the images can be so vivid, you can start to believe that what you see
playing in your mind is a reflection of reality.
Unless you have actual images or
visual evidence, the images you are picturing are simply your own
interpretation of the facts and are more than likely an embellishment of what
has actually happened.
2. Challenge the Negative Images
Once a negative image pops into
your mind, ask yourself this: "Is this image a fact or am I creating this
image using my own imagination?" Each time an image makes an appearance,
get in the habit of hitting the "pause" button, so to speak, and
challenge whether this image that is bothering you is one that you have
actually seen, or are you just tormenting yourself with an embellished
perception of what you "think" may have occurred.
3. Take Control of Your
"Programming"
Many affair victims feel they have
no control over these negative images cropping up. The post-affair images pop
into their mind constantly, no matter where they are or what they're doing:
working, shopping, cooking, driving, sleeping.
But you can indeed take control of
your own "programming". "Ok, what does that mean?", you may
be thinking. Start by actually scheduling a time when you will focus on these
images. Tell yourself, "OK, at 8 pm I am going to sit down and just let
the reels roll."
Remind yourself that you are the
one allowing these images to occur at this scheduled time. That you are the
programmer or producer of the show, if you will. That you can hit pause or
rewind as many times as you like. You can even have fun with it and hit fast
forward to make the sounds of your images imitate chipmunks. You can stretch
the images so that they look fat. You can image it raining on them.
The point of this step is
simple...to show you and your subconscious that you really are in control of
what thoughts and images course through your mind. Negative thoughts and images
tend to develop into bad habits and by practicing these steps, you will begin
to develop good habits again and positive mental images will replace the
negative.
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