I know that most folks believe that infidelity is the ultimate marriage breaker and it's unlikely that your marriage can survive infidelity. It's understandable to have such a thought when you are broken, sad and ashamed at what has just happened to your relationship. Match.com Reviews The promise to love and cherish until death do you part has been replaced with tears, fears and emotional instability. With all of that said, I will point out some reasons below why your marriage doesn't have to end because of cheating.
There are a couple of ways folks
look at infidelity. One view is that it's totally the fault of the cheating
spouse, while others believe both individuals played some role in the cheating.
I like to take a different point of view regarding whose fault it is when it
comes to cheating. Match I like to
think that it really doesn't matter whose fault it is. You can waste time and
energy pointing fingers while the pain and resentment continues to grow or you
can work on healing your broken relationship.
The key to surviving infidelity is
you and your spouse understanding what it is you want. Do you want healing and
restoration of your marriage or do you want revenge? Do you want to make rash
decisions based on emotions or be patient and discerning? Will you be fair or
judgmental with regard to the betrayal of your trust? Do you want a future
together and attempt to work it out or keep your cheating spouse around to make
his or her life miserable?
Once infidelity has been uncovered
there is the initial period of shock and remorsefulness that all couples
experience. Then there is a period of what I like to refer to as
"numbness". Match.com You aren't
sure what you should do next. All kinds of questions swirl through your head,
such as; "Do I leave or make my spouse leave?, "Should I tell
others?; "What questions should I ask about the affair?"
Infidelity can result in the end of
your marriage but it doesn't have to. You have a big say so in what happens to
your marriage. The path you take will help determine what happens in the end.
Do you take the path of seeking understanding, forgiveness and healing or the
path of revenge, bitterness and destruction?
I strongly suggest that you take
the later approach and try to reconcile your marriage. It doesn't mean that
your marriage will survive infidelity but it will give you a much better shot
than if you are trying to get even.
I realize that infidelity is
probably the most difficult marriage obstacle that a couple may have to
overcome. Once the sacred bedroom vows have been broken the pain and brokenness
is not easily overcome, but it can be. Unfortunately, there are hundreds of
thousands of couples who can attest to the fact that your marriage can survive
infidelity, just as theirs did.
Please understand that healing and
restoration is a process that takes time. With patience and the right approach
you can overcome. Don't give up on your marriage just yet. Keep fighting as
hard and long as you can until you have a restored relationship.
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