I sometimes hear from panicked people who are being threatened by the person with whom they are cheating. Often, they are dragging their feet toward taking the affair to the next level. So their cheating partner begins to apply some pressure by threatening to tell their spouse AnastasiaDate.com Reviews about the infidelity. And that is usually the time when the idea of their spouse actually finding out about the affair becomes real. So they need to formulate a plan of how to best handle this.
I heard from a husband who said:
"I have been having an affair with a coworker for about three months. This
woman wants to real relationship with me beyond the affair. I have never told
her that I was going to leave my wife for her, but apparently this is what she
is hoping for. Last week, she started making comments like 'when we are finally
together, we can do these things.' I finally told her that I wasn't sure about
what was going to happen with my marriage, especially since I have children.
And this made her very upset. For the past couple of days, she has told me that
she is going to call my wife and tell her everything because I am only playing
games with both women. Now, I have no idea what to do. This woman knows my wife
from company parties. I don't want to promise this woman a long term
relationship when I still am not sure. But I most certainly do not want for her
to tell my wife. What can do?" I will tell you my take on this below.
I do not have the perspective of
the cheating spouse because in my own situation, I was the faithful spouse. AnastasiaDate But I can
tell you that hearing this from the person who is cheating with your spouse
would be a very painful experience. I hear from a lot of folks on my blog who
have gone through this and the vast majority would have wanted to find out
about the affair another way besides being confronted by the other person. It's
my opinion and belief that it is to your benefit to be the one to tell your
spouse. And, if you have any interest in potentially saving your marriage, your
spouse may appreciate that you at least had the integrity to come forward with
the truth.
This Should Be A Very Clear Sign To
End The Affair: I'm sure that it's pretty obvious that I am of the opinion that
having an affair is wrong. However, having an affair with someone who is so
manipulative that they would make these type of threats should be a red flag to
you that you should end the relationship at once. I know that some people AnastasiaDate.com tell me
that they are tempted to keep the relationship going in order to gain the other
person's silence.
But honestly, this is a form of
blackmail. And it will keep right on going the next time the two of you
disagree or you do something that the other person doesn't like. Look at it
this way. If you agree to take the relationship to the next level just to gain
this person's silence, your spouse is going to eventually find out anyway. And
it is better for all involved if the truth comes from you.
Honor The Responsibility That You
Have To Your Spouse: Even if you aren't sure about what you want to happen to
your marriage, it's my opinion that you have a responsibility to protect your
spouse from this situation by taking the other's person's threats and leverage
away. If your spouse must hear this, then they deserve to hear it from you. It
is going to hard enough to process this information, but imagine having to
process it when it is delivered by someone other than your spouse.
Frankly, this man's wife had done
nothing wrong. She didn't deserve having a stranger confront her about an
affair that she didn't know anything about. So to address the concern posed,
this is only my opinion but I believe that you should end the relationship so
that the other person no longer has any ground to stand upon. If you think that
this person actually will approach your spouse, then it is up to you to do
whatever is necessary to protect your spouse from the same. And sometimes, that
means telling the truth. Once this happens, you can hopefully begin to pick up
the pieces. But you can't do that while you are still carrying on the affair.
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