I sometimes hear from people who are experiencing extremely negative feelings and deep shame after having an affair. AnastasiaDate.com Reviews And, many of them are wondering how they can move past this because they know that all of this negativity is really serving no purpose and isn't help them in any way.
I heard from a wife who said:
"I feel like such a cheap, low life for cheating on my husband. I am so
embarrassed by this. My husband lost his job last year and I had to go back to
work. I am college educated and used to have a career until my children were
born. But when it become clear that I needed to work to help with the bills, I
decided to work at a restaurant so that I could have very flexible hours. It is
a job that I never would have taken if we didn't need the money so badly. I
ended up having an affair with my boss, who manages the restaurant. Honestly, the
other man isn't anyone that I would have associated with before, much less have
been attracted to. I have never cheated on anyone before. This is so out of
character for me. I feel like a cheap person who has no integrity. In order to
return some of that integrity, I told my husband everything. Now, when he looks
at me, AnastasiaDate I can see
distaste in his eyes. I can't really blame him. If he came home and told me
that he had an affair with a waitress, I would feel the same way that he feels
right now. Because of my affair, I feel like I don't deserve my husband. I
honestly feel like I don't deserve my kids. I feel like I am of a lower class
and not as high quality of a person as the rest of my family. And I am not sure
if I am ever going to get over this. What can I do?"
My heart went out to this woman.
Even though I was on the other side of this situation as the spouse who was
cheated on, it was still obvious to me that this woman was truly sorry and
truly struggling. And frankly, as horrible of a mistake as infidelity can be,
I'm not sure that anyone should have to pay for it for the rest of their life.
And I certainly didn't want this wife's AnastasiaDate.com doubts and
fears to affect her ability to parent and to enjoy her children. So in the
following article, I will offer some insights that I hope will help in this
situation.
Know That You Can't The Affair
Back, But You Can Work Very Hard To Make It Right: Some people become so
discouraged in this situation because they know that they can never take the
affair back. They know that no matter what they do or say, that this is always
going to be between them and their spouse. And they will always know that they
made this mistake that hurt so many people.
All of these things are true, but
that doesn't mean that you can't or shouldn't do everything in your power to
make this right again. No, you can't change what you did. But you can do quite
a lot to diminish the effects of your actions. You can work tirelessly to
repair your marriage. And you can be determined to uncover why you cheated so
that you can tell your spouse with complete honestly that you will never do it
again.
I suspected that the stress of her
financial situation left this wife vulnerable to her unfortunate decisions, but
this isn't always the whole story. Plenty of people experience stress and don't
step over the line. So you will want to take a close look at what might have
contributed to this and then fix it. That way, you don't have to continue to
walk around worrying that you are damaged beyond all repair.
Frankly, a lack of self esteem is
one of the things that can contribute to infidelity and failed marriages so you
don't want to add this to the list of things that you already have to overcome.
Do whatever you need to do in order to feel that you have made a valiant effort
to make this situation as benign as it can possibly be. Strive to be the best
spouse as is possible. Conduct yourself with dignity and respect from today
forward. Vow that your children will not pay the price for your one mistake.
Get help if you need it because your mental and emotional health is worth it.
Yes, infidelity is a huge mistake
with far reaching consequences. But if you don't do whatever you need to do to
heal and to move forward, then you will pay for it for the rest of your life
and, as a result, your family will pay for it too. It's my opinion that the best
thing that you can do is to pick yourself up and vow to become the best person,
spouse, and parent that you can be. Otherwise, the mistake just continues to
hurt you and the people who you love and that just isn't fair. Nor does it
benefit anyone.
Comments
Post a Comment